it's been a very long time...and i have much to say but don't know how to say it.....i think i'm just doing this to have something to vent to...cause lately i can't really trust anyone.....
so school is horrible...i hate it here...it's so unappealing...and the worst of it is...i'm never gonna be able to get out...cause i hate it so damn much....i never go to fucking class....i have no motivation....short term anyway....and not having that....leads to no long term results....jesus i'm a mess
my mental health is something i should be a little more concerned about....everyday it just keeps getting harder and harder to stop from doing.....and the fact is that not many people know because it is truly something you don't want have known....it's just so hard knowing that people say they'll be there...but never do shit about it.....this time....sorry doesn't fucking cut it....i need help...and what the fuck do you do?....sorry....fuck that...i don't need sorry i need your fucking help so do something about it...cause i can't make this happen on my own...i'm not nearly strong enough
my writing has basically been nonexistant....i really have only written 4 songs in the long time that i've had to write more than that.....i wrote some music the other night with some help....well not so much help...but sometimes having a conversation while writing really does help you.....inspiration does wonders.....
the band is starting to be quite awesome....i'm incredibly happy with the way things are going....i wasn't about a month ago...but shit turned around quick....our rutgers show is gonna be so good
i'm starting to hate my job...i'm not appreciated at all. and it's funny cause they expect so little from everyone....and then they turn to me for everything...and you know what...i do a fucking amazing job....but nothing is gonna change...i'm never gonna become a shift...i'm never gonna get more than a thank you...heck even a hug will do....but yea....i'm hating my job
i need a lot of hugs and ears and hands to push me along the way.... if you really fucking care...don't just say something about it...help me....talk to me...do something....don't just sit back while i fall apart....i don't know what else to say...so i guess i'm done for tonight.... | 